Big changes for a little family & how to cope with change

Not long ago we became a Drive in Drive out (DIDO) commuter family.  That is for seven days Dad is home and for seven days he is not.  It’s meant big changes for a little family.

This week we entered roster three with Dad away and three little boys six, three and eight weeks old.  I’m excited to say I have managed to feed, clothe and deliver everyone where they needed to be almost on time or on time most of the time!

As well as becoming a DIDO family, in the last few months we have moved interstate whilst heavily pregnant, had the baby, looked for houses, bought a house and started on the renovations an older house needs.

As well as ALL of that, we have survived our first case of nits and boils and two week old Hugo’s first cold and good news, we’re all still alive and relatively sane.

For six year old Ruben, the changes have been particularly huge.  He’s moved states, houses, schools, rooms and beds.  He is on his second teacher at his new school when the first one left for a new job.  He has a new baby brother and all things considered he’s doing really well.

While all this was happening, time was marching on with or without us but mostly with us.

Ruben is starting to think he might survive life at this new school and Max thinks the Kindy chooks Elsa and Ginger are awesome.

The other half?  Well he’s back underground cutting coal, studying and making plans for his own ‘Reno Rumble’ at the beach house.

That’s a lot of changes for us. That got me thinking.

Does everyone experience this many changes?  I think they do.  Big or small changes are a part of life.  A series of changes that takes us from one stage of life to the next.

It’s how you cope (0r not!) with these changes that will get you through the everyday.

How do you cope with change?  I’d love to know.

In the mean time here are some of my tips for getting through some pretty big changes.

5 Tips for coping with changes

1.  Let go. Come to peace with the piles of stuff and unpacked boxes around the house and know that they will find a home eventually.  The house will get bigger and they books will get unpacked, the kids will settle, eventually

2.  Everything comes to an end.  The chaos that’s reigning is temporary.  The house will settle, the baby will grow up and Term one will morph into term four. Nothing lasts forever. You will get through everything that’s doing your head in now.

3.  Get help. Get a cleaner in for a couple of hours, get your mum up, ask you’re sister-in-law 😉 to hold the baby, go to your mother-in-law’s for lasagna. Let your brother-in-law take the kids fishing.  Accept help when and where it’s offered.  Do the same for them later.

4. Shit will happen, be okay with that.  You will be late for school, you might not get photos of the La La, the Grade One bear done on time.  You will send Grandma to Kindergarten with Max when it’s a pupil free day.  Shit happens.  Embrace it, breathe, it’s not going to kill you.

5.  Know that tomorrow is a brand new day.  Today the baby woke up at 12pm, 2am, 4am, 5.20am but the sun will be up at 6 and the day will be great, you’re going to be tired and that’s okay.  You’ll get to yoga on the beach by seven!  The day holds all sorts of promises and opportunities if your eyes are open and your heart is full.

Me? Well I’m doing pretty good I think.  All things considered.  Most days are great and the ones that aren’t pass by in like a blur or a bad dream that is quickly forgotten.  I only have to look at my three boys or the view out my front door to know that life is great if you let it be.

 

Chase the changes they can only make you stronger

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2 Responses to Big changes for a little family & how to cope with change

  1. Tracy June 10, 2016 at 11:11 am #

    Great article Nicky! Agree wholeheartedly on it is how an individual or family embrace changes in life as to whether the new life will have a chance of succeeding. My tips for what they are worth, are learning to let go of the old life, both material things and familiar routines, whilst retaining memories and lasting friendships. Move forwards and have no regrets. Every experience enriches the family unit.

    • Nicky June 10, 2016 at 12:59 pm #

      Hi Tracy, that is so true. So often we cling to the ‘old life’. It’s really important to cherish it and remember it but to let it go and give the new life a go. That is excellent advice. I think maybe I’ve been doing a little too much holding on to the old life and wishing it back. Thank you for reminding me what’s important and what’s exciting about moving.x

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