20 Jun Bursting into NYC

So a not so funny thing happened to me not the way on my Delta Flight to NYC.  Right before I touched down in LA, I

 started to feel like my insides were cramping up on themselves. And then I got off the plane, where I spent the next three hours in or near the bathroom.    I engaged in a quick round of self talk.

“So what you feel sick.  You don’t think hundreds of people get on a plane and are sick, suck it up.   If you don’t get on this plane your luggage will have to be offloaded and your flight rescheduled.”

I peptobismalled* before I got on the plane.

I was sitting waiting patiently to be taxi’d down the runway, when I broke out in a cold sweat.  My stomach heaved and then the pepto was gone. Sitting at the bottom of those handy little dual purpose donate or spew bags.

The two bulky guys either side of me, jumped as far left and right as they possibly could.  They didn’t know where to look or what to do faced with the vision of the groaning, moaning, sweating sight of me complete with slight dribbles of vomit at the corners of my mouth.

“Napkin, I need a napkin.”

As the flight attendants had mysteriously disappeared, gone blind and deaf, Guy 2 on my right was awesome he put out the call for napkins.  Obviously a man to call on in a crisis. Suddenly napkins came from three different locations and three lovely ladies.

Guy 1, I have to say remained in terror the whole flight that I would throw up on him.  Everytime I asked to get by him for the bathroom he shot up and out of that seat quicker than a short range missile.

So lucky me I then spent the next 4 1/2 hours to NYC in, or sitting on the floor near, the airplane bathrooms.  Damn gastro or damn plane food, I couldn’t decide which. Definitely a passing thing though.

Here I must interrupt the story to say a special thank you to the not one but two Delta Flight Attendants who ‘assisted’ me in disposing of my organic stomach matter.  To Flight Attendant 1 I particularly like the curt dip of your chin as you were kind enough to keep on walking at the sight of the spew bag and your kind words, they will forever stay with me.

“No I won’t take that.” Speed walking off into the kitchen ether.

Flight attendant 2 thank you so much for your ingenious idea to give me a plastic shopping bag as big as my suitcase to put said spew bag in so you didn’t have to directly touch it and thank you so so much for returning to collect it……………….I’m still waiting.

Off the plane, Thursday dawned.  First full day in the Big Apple.  Good night’s sleep all will be well….

“Geez I really feel vomitous, and what’s this weird pain in my right side Google doctor???? No, No, No couldn’t be I’ll be right in the morning.

And I did.  Friday I felt great…then

Saturday, haul myself out of bed, shit, feeling really shit again. “I know, I’ll go on the seven hour bike round Brooklyn,”

Little sis, “I really think you should go and get this stomach stuff checked out,”

“Yeh, maybe but might wait till Monday, don’t want to be a hypercondriac, it could go away by then, could be just gastro.”

LS in her best Mum voice and her own roll of the eyes “Alright your decision but I think you REALLY SHOULD GET IT CHECKED OUT.

Yeh Yeh Yeh ok….so I trundle of to CityMD and the lovely doctors and assistant’s there.  They ask’s me a few questions and I try to smack doctor in the face when he presses on the right side of my stomach.

And then, as I do in most momentous occasions in my life that are getting too much, I burst into tears. As he started to explain to me what I probably somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind also suspected and google doctor had confirmed.

The Beth Israel Medical Center confirmed it too.  I had appendicitis. in fact a ruptured appendix.  My stomach was filled with lots of lovely gas and to put it delicately, pus.

Then the real holiday highlight began, IV antibiotics, morphine, anti-nausea drugs, nil by mouth and my view of the Chrysler building  and my roomy Mary for three days.

So the good news is I’m going to make my plane home in under a month and I’ll be heaps skinnier.

No really the good news is I was in great hands, the staff at Beth Israel were excellent and with them I was never in any danger.

To my little sis, bet you never thought you’d have to look after her 40 year old sister? you are amazing and I never stop being proud of you everyday for all that you accomplish.

Oh yeh and to the two Delta Airline hostesses that wouldn’t take my vomit bag and eye’d me with some degree of “you’re not really sick,” guess what, turns out I was.

*Over the counter anti-nausea tablets that I do not recommend!